Essential Questions to Ask a Funeral Director
Asking the right questions before choosing a funeral director can save you over £1,000 and ensure you get transparent, high-quality service. This guide covers 20+ essential questions, what good answers sound like, and red flags to watch for.
Key Points
- ✓Always get itemized written quotes from 3+ funeral directors
- ✓Ask about price transparency and hidden costs upfront
- ✓Test their flexibility with options and alternatives
- ✓Watch for pressure tactics and vague pricing
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Get Free Quotes Now →Price Transparency Questions
These questions help you understand exactly what you're paying for and avoid surprise costs.
1. Can I have a detailed, itemized written quote?
✓ Good Answer:
"Absolutely. Here's a full breakdown showing every cost: professional fees, coffin, hearse, cremation fees, celebrant, and any third-party costs. There are no hidden charges."
✗ Red Flag:
"We offer packages from £2,995. We can discuss the details later." (Vague, no itemization)
Why this matters: An itemized quote prevents surprise costs and lets you compare prices fairly across different funeral directors.
2. What's included in your basic package, and what costs extra?
✓ Good Answer:
"Our basic package includes: professional fees, simple coffin, hearse, and collection. Extras like limousines, viewings, and embalming are optional and cost [specific amounts]."
✗ Red Flag:
"Everything you need is included in the package." (Too vague, doesn't specify what's actually covered)
3. Are there any additional fees I should know about?
✓ Good Answer:
"Third-party costs like crematorium fees (£850), doctor's fees (£164), and celebrant fees (£250) are separate. We handle payment but these aren't our charges. Everything is shown clearly on the quote."
✗ Red Flag:
"No, that's everything." (Then later, surprise fees appear for paperwork, mileage, or admin)
4. What is your total professional fee?
✓ Good Answer:
"Our professional fee is £1,500. This covers our services: coordination, care of the deceased, hearse, bearers, and all administrative work."
✗ Red Flag:
"It depends on what you choose." (Avoiding a clear answer)
5. Can I remove items from the package to reduce the price?
✓ Good Answer:
"Yes, absolutely. If you don't need a limousine or viewing, we'll deduct those costs. We're flexible to work within your budget."
✗ Red Flag:
"Our packages are fixed—you can't remove items." (Inflexible, potentially overcharging)
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Get 3 Free Quotes →Service Quality Questions
These questions help assess the funeral director's experience, professionalism, and level of service.
6. How long have you been in business?
✓ Good Answer:
"We've been serving this community for 25 years. Our team has over 100 years of combined experience in funeral care."
Note: New funeral directors aren't necessarily bad, but established ones often have better local connections and processes.
7. Are you available 24/7?
✓ Good Answer:
"Yes, we're available around the clock. Call anytime and a qualified funeral director will respond, not an answering service."
✗ Red Flag:
"We're open 9-5 weekdays. Call back during office hours." (Deaths don't follow business hours)
8. Will I have a dedicated contact person?
✓ Good Answer:
"Yes, I'll be your main point of contact throughout. You'll have my direct number and I'll coordinate everything with you."
✗ Red Flag:
"You'll speak to whoever's available when you call." (Lack of continuity, potential for miscommunication)
9. Are you a member of any professional associations?
✓ Good Answer:
"Yes, we're members of NAFD (National Association of Funeral Directors) and follow their code of conduct. We also have external quality inspections."
Look for: NAFD, SAIF (Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors), FPA (Funeral Planning Authority)
10. Can I visit your premises and chapel of rest?
✓ Good Answer:
"Of course. We encourage families to visit. You can see our facilities and meet our team before making a decision."
✗ Red Flag:
"We don't allow visits." (What are they hiding?)
Practical Arrangements Questions
These questions cover the logistics of the funeral and what the funeral director will handle.
11. How soon can you arrange the funeral?
✓ Good Answer:
"Typically 2-3 weeks, but we can arrange it sooner if needed. It depends on crematorium availability and your family's schedule."
12. Do you handle all the paperwork?
✓ Good Answer:
"Yes, we handle all funeral-related paperwork: registering the death, booking the crematorium or cemetery, arranging doctor's certificates for cremation, and coordinating with the celebrant."
13. What happens if I want to make changes to the arrangements?
✓ Good Answer:
"We're flexible. Most changes are free if made at least 48 hours before the funeral. After that, some third-party costs (like crematorium rescheduling) may apply, but we'll always tell you upfront."
✗ Red Flag:
"Once booked, changes incur a £200 admin fee." (Unreasonably inflexible)
14. Can you accommodate special requests or cultural/religious customs?
✓ Good Answer:
"Absolutely. We've arranged funerals for many faiths and cultures. Tell us what you need and we'll make it happen."
15. Do you offer viewings? What are the costs?
✓ Good Answer:
"Yes, viewings are available in our chapel of rest. We offer private viewings (included) and attended viewings where we prepare the deceased (£150 for embalming if needed)."
Flexibility and Options
These questions test how flexible and accommodating the funeral director is with cost-saving options.
16. Can I supply my own coffin?
✓ Good Answer:
"Yes, you're welcome to supply your own coffin. We'll deduct our coffin cost from the total. Just make sure it meets crematorium requirements if it's a cremation."
✗ Red Flag:
"No, we only use our own coffins." (Unwilling to accommodate cost-saving measures)
Why ask this: Even if you don't plan to supply your own, their answer reveals how flexible they are overall.
17. Do you offer eco-friendly or alternative coffin options?
✓ Good Answer:
"Yes, we have wicker, willow, bamboo, and cardboard coffins. These are eco-friendly and often less expensive than traditional wood coffins."
18. Do you offer direct cremation?
✓ Good Answer:
"Yes, direct cremation starts at £1,200. It's a simple, unattended cremation. Families often hold a separate memorial service later."
✗ Red Flag:
"We don't recommend that—it's not a proper send-off." (Judgmental, discouraging affordable options)
19. Can we have a service at a non-traditional venue?
✓ Good Answer:
"Absolutely. We've arranged services in hotels, gardens, sports clubs—wherever feels right for your family. We coordinate all the logistics."
20. Do you have different price tiers or packages?
✓ Good Answer:
"We offer several options from simple direct cremation (£1,200) to traditional funerals (£3,500+). Every package can be customized to your needs and budget."
Payment and Financial Questions
These questions address payment terms, financial assistance, and potential help with costs.
21. When do I need to pay?
✓ Good Answer:
"Payment is due before the funeral, but we're flexible. If you're waiting for probate or insurance, we can work out a payment arrangement."
✗ Red Flag:
"Full payment upfront before we proceed with anything." (Inflexible, no trust)
22. Do you offer payment plans?
✓ Good Answer:
"Yes, we offer interest-free payment plans over 6-12 months for families who need it. There's no judgment—we're here to help."
23. Can you help with applying for Funeral Expenses Payment?
✓ Good Answer:
"Yes, we're experienced with Funeral Expenses Payment applications. We can guide you through the process and wait for the payment to come through."
Note: Funeral Expenses Payment is a government benefit for those on low income. Not all families qualify, but it's worth asking.
24. Are there any discounts available?
✓ Good Answer:
"We offer a 10% discount for early payment or if the deceased was a veteran. We're also happy to work within your budget—just let us know your constraints."
Red Flags to Watch For
Be cautious if a funeral director exhibits any of these warning signs:
Pressure tactics
Pushing you to decide immediately or book expensive options "before it's too late." Take your time and compare options.
Vague or evasive pricing
Refusing to provide written quotes or saying "we'll discuss costs later." Transparent funeral directors put everything in writing upfront.
Dismissive attitude
Acting annoyed by your questions or dismissing your concerns. Good funeral directors are patient and empathetic.
Unwilling to itemize costs
Only offering "package deals" without showing what's included. This hides where the money goes and prevents fair comparison.
No flexibility
"That's just how we do it" when you ask about alternatives or cost-saving options. Good funeral directors work with your needs and budget.
Hidden fees appearing later
Costs increasing after the initial quote without clear explanation. Always get everything in writing.
Poor communication
Slow to respond, hard to reach, or constantly passing you to different staff members. You need reliability during this time.
Discouraging affordable options
Making you feel guilty for choosing direct cremation or simpler coffins. "You don't want to give them a cheap send-off, do you?"
How to Compare Answers
After speaking to 3 funeral directors, create a comparison chart to evaluate their responses.
Comparison Checklist
| Question/Factor | FD 1 | FD 2 | FD 3 |
|---|---|---|---|
| Provided itemized quote? | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Total price (same service) | £___ | £___ | £___ |
| Transparent about costs? | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Flexible with options? | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Professional communication? | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Felt comfortable with them? | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Available when you need them? | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
| Payment plans offered? | ☐ | ☐ | ☐ |
Decision Tips
- →The cheapest isn't always best—consider service quality and how comfortable you feel
- →The most expensive isn't necessarily better—often you're paying for branding
- →Trust your gut—if something feels off, it probably is
- →Look for the best balance of price, transparency, and professionalism
Frequently Asked Questions
Should I feel awkward asking about price?
Absolutely not. Funerals are expensive and you have every right to understand costs. A good funeral director welcomes questions and provides clear answers. If they make you feel uncomfortable about asking, that's a red flag.
How many funeral directors should I contact?
At least 3. This gives you a good sense of the price range, service quality, and options available in your area. More than 5 can become overwhelming.
Can I switch funeral directors after I've started?
Yes, though it may be inconvenient. If you've paid deposits, check their cancellation policy. Most reputable funeral directors will cooperate if you decide to switch—though you may forfeit deposits.
What if I disagree with family about the funeral director choice?
Focus on facts: compare written quotes, transparency, and professionalism. Show family members the comparison chart. Often, seeing the numbers and service differences side-by-side helps reach consensus.
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Get Free Quotes Now →Related Guides
How to Choose a Funeral Director
What to look for, red flags to avoid, and how to compare options.
Complete Funeral Planning Checklist
Step-by-step checklist from death to funeral day.
How to Arrange a Funeral in the UK
Complete guide to arranging a funeral from start to finish.
Understanding Funeral Costs 2025
Detailed breakdown of funeral costs by region and type.
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